The Father's Love: On the floor

I shared previously how as a young man I had ended up on the floor after being ministered to at a Vineyard conference. That occasion however left me feeling desolate as I ended up crying out "Father, I want to feel your love!" over and over again. Instead of being filled by the Spirit from this experience, I felt nothing but emptiness afterwards. But shortly after this I had a different "floor time" experience. Back then there was no Vineyard church in our city, so Ingrid and I were attending what we thought at the time was the next best thing: a growing Charismatic church located in the downtown area. It wasn't until long after we had left the church that we learned it had previously belonged to the Shepherding Movement. During one of the Sunday services, the pastor gave out what he felt was a "word from the Lord" that some of those present had told God they had "drawn lines in the sand" and would "not cross them again." He said however that this was wrong and that those who had drawn such lines should come forward and repent. Frustrated and discouraged from having tried to engage in various ministry activities only to be criticized and rebuffed by leadership, I felt that the pastor's "word" must apply to me. So I went forward and got down on my knees to repent. I began to pray, telling God how sorry I was that I had drawn those lines in the sand. Then I felt someone's hand on my back, and as the hand started trembling I began to weep. "I'm sorry, Father," I said, repeating this again and again as my eyes began to fill with tears. Then suddenly the Lord spoke to me: You've never drawn any lines. "Whaah" I cried, "whaah, whaaah" as tears rolled down my face. This went on a while and then God spoke to me again: You've always obeyed me. "Whaaaah! Whaaaaahhh!" I cried loudly as the hand on my back shook strongly. Then He spoke to me one more time: You're a man after my own heart. "WHAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Lying on the floor by this time, I proceeded to sob my heart out, totally oblivious to everything and everyone around me. Then after some time had elapsed and my tears had dried up, I opened my eyes and turned around to find out who had been praying for me. "What happened, Mitch?" It was my brother-in-law who had laid his hand on me. "Mitch?" he repeated, "What was happening there with you?" We both stood up. I looked at him and wanted to say, "My name isn't Mitch, it's CHRISTIAN!!" But I just smiled instead and thanked him and said I couldn't share right now, maybe later. Because I didn't want to lose the wonderful feeling I was experiencing at that moment: the feeling of being loved and affirmed by my heavenly Father. The experience was so precious to me that I thought if I should share it I might lose the potency and power of it. This feeling only lasted several days however and then it dissipated. And by the end of the week I was struggling with insecurity and depression again over not being able to find my place in the church and not being recognized by the leadership for the gifts I felt God had given me. Like my daydream in the house church that I previously used to attend, this new experience of God's love was powerful, but once again it didn't last. Why not? Probably for several reasons which at the time I just couldn't fathom. But the question always remained: How could I cement in my heart the fact that my Father really loves me? Was there something I needed to do? Or was I doomed to endure a series of spiritual highs followed by desolate lows? More to come soon. --Mitch

My previous post on this topic set forth four principles that provide a foundation to encourage and equip ourselves and others for doing personal evangelism. I ended that post by suggesting that each time we step out into the world, we should bring these principles to mind by praying something like this: Lord, I believe you want to save him/her/them and that you've sent me and empowered me. Help me share your good news! Over the next couple of weeks I've tried repeating this prayer to myself as Ingrid and I have gone shopping for groceries or new clothes or just for coffee somewhere. And the results have been encouraging. For example, the first time I tried this was when we were about to enter an Italian grocery store we often frequent. As I walked around the store I saw a man who worked there whom we had previously talked with. I grabbed the opportunity to point him to my testimony which I've put online and he responded positively. I haven't seen him since, but plan on following up when I do meet him again. Then after we paid for our groceries, we sat down for a coffee and one of the checkout girls we hadn't seen for several months came over and started talking with us. She began telling us about an injury that had kept her away from work, and how she needed to find a new fulltime job which was difficult to find in these current economic conditions. Soon we were praying for her and telling her about Jesus. Another time when we were shopping for groceries, Ingrid saw a young woman standing in front of the meat counter. "What a beautiful coat," said Ingrid, "the color suits you perfectly and it looks well made with good material." As they talked together, the young woman said she was buying a steak for her boyfriend whom she was soon going to marry. At that point Ingrid said, "Jesus is in our marriage, and if Jesus is in your marriage you will be able to forgive one another and make decisions together and your marriage will succeed." I recall how many years ago our friend Mac Jardine told us that the key to doing evangelism is to "have the courage to say the J-word." Ingrid has this courage, and she often brings up Jesus in her conversations with strangers. We've also had problems recently with our kitchen sink and bathroom shower leaking, so last week we called a plumber. As he worked I started talking with him, and soon he was sharing his regret over the failure of his marriage. As he talked I kept thinking to myself: How can I say something meaningful to this man before he leaves? I prayed the above prayer again and again, asking the Lord for his help. Finally the man gave me the bad news that we needed to replace our shower and it would cost us quite a lot. And then suddenly I knew the words I should say: "We'll have to talk with God before we decide whether to approve your estimate as we always ask Him when we're faced with making financial decisions." The man replied "I respect that" and prepared to leave as he had other customers to attend to, so we couldn't continue our conversation. But perhaps there's an opening now for me to pray for him when he comes to install the new shower in our bathroom. So no great revival has broken out since I started praying my above prayer, but so what? The kingdom of God often advances gradually in a manner we can scarcely notice or perceive (see Mark 4:26-29 ). The point is to keep on doing it and not give up. And I hope these stories encourage you to do the same. Cheers, --Mitch

The first chapter and introduction of our latest book Simple Kingdom: Word and Spirit are now completed in draft (unedited) form and we're making them available on our website for those who are interested in previewing them. Check out the section we've added near the top of our home page for links to these draft chapters as we finish writing them. Cheers,  Mitch and Ingrid

The following healing story is excerpted from chapter 3 of our book Simple Kingdom: Home Fellowships : Inner healing can be variously defined but essentially involves helping an individual become emotionally whole through the intervention of God's power. Individuals are often hampered in their spiritual growth by painful things that happened to them in their childhood and growing years. Often the person is not even aware of the problem or what may have caused it. Others may be aware however that the individual has a problem, typically because of unhealthy behaviors they manifest such as chronic anxiety, depression, substance addiction, or suicidal tendencies. Home fellowships can be the place where those in need of inner healing can receive it because the love they experience from others in the group fosters a sense of trust that gives them courage to share their deepest hurts. Ken, who had been healed from self-destructive behaviors including drug abuse and suicidal thoughts when he became a Christian, shares next how he received inner healing in a home fellowship from feelings of rejection and abandonment: I always did risky things as a kid, like drinking heavily and mixing different kinds of drugs together. I overdosed a couple of times, and I often felt like I had some sort of "suicide mark" on me. One winter day as a teenager, I decided to end my life. So I went to the highway and drank a whole bottle of booze and lay down in the culvert thinking I'd slowly pass out and freeze myself to death. But the trouble was, I got so cold I couldn't fall asleep! So I got up and went home. A few years later after I had become a Christian, my mom confessed to me on her deathbed that she had tried to abort me when she realized she was pregnant. I began wondering if this might lie behind my suicidal behaviors, so I went to see the couple who led our house church and told them about it. After I shared my story, the woman picked up her guitar and began singing a Vineyard worship song that starts with "I will change your name, you shall no longer be called wounded, outcast, lonely or afraid." I immediately flopped on the floor and thought "This is so weird." A deep feeling of rest then came over me. I felt something break and I forgave my mom. For more healing stories see the Blog page of our website. --Mitch

Ingrid and I have started working on the next title in our Simple Kingdom series of free books. The book will be titled Simple Kingdom: Word and Spirit and the (tentative) table of contents is as follows: - Introduction - History or myth? - It is written - Apostles and prophets - Hearing God in the Scriptures - Hearing God through the Scriptures - Experiencing God beyond the Scriptures I'll be posting the draft chapters here in our blog as they are being written. Then once all the chapters are finished, the book will be made available as a free PDF download from our website. More news about this soon :-) --Mitch

I've been married now to my wonderful wife Ingrid for more than 40 years, so I thought on this Valentine's Day it might be nice if I put the following poem online which I wrote during our first year of marriage when we lived up north in Cranberry-Portage, Manitoba: You are God's lesser gift to me; The greater one they hung upon the tree. Yet this small gift I value none the less, Though mortal is your sweet caress. Love you, Schatz! --Mitch

In his book Power Evangelism Wimber says articulating guiding principles for training people in the ministry of divine healing is like laying down the foundation for a building you want to build. What are some of the Biblically-based principles for equipping others (and yourself!) in the ministry of personal evangelism? The first guiding principle is simply that God wants to save people . In 1 Timothy 2:4 the apostle Paul says that God "wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth." And in 2 Peter 3:9 the apostle Peter says "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." And Jesus himself says in John 3:16 that "God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." The second principle for evangelism is that we have been commissioned and sent by Jesus . "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit" (Matthew 29:19). "As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you" (John 20:21). See also Luke 9:1-6 and 10:1-12, and also our free book Simple Kingdom: Discipleship where the task we are to perform as followers of Jesus is described in detail. A third key principle is that we are empowered by the Holy Spirit . "You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses...to the end of the earth" (Acts 1:8). We are to bear witness to coming kingdom by both words and works: "As you go, proclaim this message: 'The kingdom of heaven has come near.' Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons" (Matthew 10:7-8). Ingrid and I have both found that effective evangelism often begins when we pray for someone who is ill, troubled or tormented as we encounter people in the marketplace. Our final principle for doing evangelism is that trust in God is demonstrated by action . Studying the Bible is good, but doing the Bible is better. Jesus says that "Everyone who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock" (Matthew 7:24). He also says that only those who do God's will have the right to call him Father (Matthew 12:50). Application How can we apply all this to help us become more effective in sharing our faith? One way is to remind ourselves of these principles as we pass through our world. For example, when we go to work, enter a classroom, take our kids to the movies, wait in line at checkout in the grocery store, are greeted by the barista at a coffee shop, or whatever, we can recite a short mantra to ourselves to remind ourselves of these principles. Like saying this simple four-point prayer: Lord, I believe you want to save these people! Thank you that you've sent me to do your will! Thank you that your powerful Spirit is always with me! Please help me share your good news today! Of course if you’re like I am, then about ten seconds after you've recited the above and stepped into the world, you've completely forgotten it! But hey, that's just the world, the flesh and the Devil at work trying to inhibit and impede us. Get used to it and keep on moving forward in the kingdom :-) Blessings, —Mitch

As some have recently asked how I became a Christian, I've decided to share my personal testimony on t his website . The pattern I've followed is the one the apostle Paul used when he addressed the crowd in Jerusalem from the steps of the army barracks where he was going to be held pending examination (Acts 22:1-21). Like Paul, I describe what kind of person I used to be, how I met God, and what happened afterwards. You can read my testimony here and feel free to contact me if you have any questions or comments about anything in my story. Cheers, --M itch Tulloch

---By Ingrid Tulloch---  When I was a young woman who had come of age, I wanted more than anything else to be on my own, to make my own decisions for my life and not be under the control of my parents. So I started praying about my situation. Not long afterwards the door opened for me to attend a Navigators conference in Colorado Springs. While I was there I attended a Bible study on Second Timothy led by one of the Navigators leaders, and during the study I was struck by this verse: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." (2 Tim 1:7) Here ended all confusion for me. After receiving some counselling from the leader, I made the decision that when I returned I would tell my parents right away that I was going to move out, live on my own and take steps to further my education which was to become a teacher in Early Childhood Development. When I got home, I told my parents my plans. They were puzzled, but they didn't try to stop me. My Heavenly Father had given me courage and confidence through that verse, and I often returned to it whenever I faced a difficult situation in my life. May the Lord lead and guide you in your own life! —Ingrid